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I have a FATALFAME FETUS, do you?
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| THIS NEW BLOG ROCKS!!!! |
| 07.21.04 (12:15 pm) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104202.14[/b]
This new blog site I'm on really rocks. It has 5 of us on it, so it's always updated with different posts every few hours. Don't just read one, scroll down and read a few.
Once again, I'm the blond guy, under the name of EGGS BENEDICT! Check it out, and be patient. CAPTAIN'S BLOGS isn't going anywhere!
Here's the link. http://libertyskids.tblog.com...
:END BLOG ENTRY :P
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| CAPTAIN'S BLOG IS ON SHORE LEAVE |
| 07.20.04 (12:27 pm) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104201.14[/b]
It's time to make a huge announcement. Captain's Blogs will be moving to a new blog site. I'm joining forces with some of my chums for a time. DON'T WORRY, You're still going to get all my awesome stories. I am also still going to post on this site once a week to keep it up. Go to http://libertyskids.tblog.com... I'm the blond dude and my segment will be called, EGGS BENEDICT. Be sure to sign up and become friends so you can get e-mails updating posts. Feel free to place your comments on this blog if you don't like the new home.
Once again, THE CAPTAIN WILL BE BACK HERE, BUT NOT TODAY! ENJOY
:END BLOG ENTRY :D
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| LIES, ALL LIES |
| 07.17.04 (7:39 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104198.09[/b]
I shoudn't post a blog at work, nevertheless, I think I should get this out in the open. Here goes.
[i][u][b]I WAS NEVER ON DOUBLE DARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!![/b][/u][/i]
:END BLOG ENTRY :twisted:
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| BUSY BEE |
| 07.16.04 (12:40 pm) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104197.14[/b]
Yes I haven't had a blog in 4 days. That's because I've been super busy with quite the unusal rush of banquets at my hotel. Not that I'm complaining...overtime means once again I most likely pocket $30 an hour. Which is why I think ALL A DOLLAR is the Shiznit. Everything in the entire store is a dollar, so why, everytime I shop there, do I hear someone ask the price on an item? Yes the joke was funny, when in my younger days, I would bug the employees by asking the obvious question of price. Not just once, but many times....Even after they would say everything in the store IS A DOLLAR! But really people.....just don't ask. ALL A DOLLAR MEANS ALL A DOLLAR. Geeezzzzzzzzz! YES EVEN BATTERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:END BLOG ENTRY :?
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| NOT ANOTHER ONE |
| 07.12.04 (1:15 pm) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104193.15[/b]
I AM TICKED OFF! Would ya'll like to know why I"M TICKED OFF? Well, I'll tell you.
A couple of days ago I was shaving....yes I shave. Anywho, upon closer examination of my face, I found a freckle had made a home for itself. A FRECKLE!!!!!!!!!!!Of all the places on my body, why my face? Maybe it's a liver spot...who knows. Afterall I will be turning 30 in December. Maybe my Liver is just falling apart and the little pieces are traveling trough my blood-stream picking stupid spots on my body to retire. Yes, I know that's not what liver spots are, so all the smartees can forget correcting me in my comments.
Anyway, my physical was a smashing sucess. However, instead of making me turn my head and cough, he simply had me flex my stomach muscles. Also, this Doc is a huge fan of my blood. He looooooooooves it so much that he said to me that if he was going to write a technical journal on blood, he would use mine as an example. Wow, I guess that's why I never catch colds or get the flu............................................................................................................................That long pause of periods was me taking the time to knock on wood.
SO IF MY BLOOD IS SO GOOD, HOW COME I HAVE A FRECKLE ON MY FACE?
:END BLOG ENTRY :x :x
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| YIKES |
| 07.10.04 (12:30 pm) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104191.14[/b]
I was going to blog again today, but the people around me, extremely less active on the hygiene scale, forgot to purchase their SPEEDSTICK. Need I gag more!
:END BLOG ENTRY :x
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| OUCH! |
| 07.09.04 (11:16 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104190.13[/b]
I don't know what it is about bread, but I LOVE IT. In fact, I could eat bread all the time...especially at restaurants. One of my favorite restaurants is the OLD SPAGHETTI FACTORY. With each lucious, tantalizing, dinner comes a loaf of homemade bread with your choice of both regular and garlic butter. YUM YUM. Funny thing is, I think I get a little to excited because everytime I eat bread, I get a nasty case of hiccups. For example, last night I was with my chickadee and her friend at the FACTORY, when I downed some bread like a hungry dog. Upon swallowing my last bite, not but 2 seconds later, I had a spasmatic inhalation of the glottis (HICCUP). The accompanying peculiar sound that erupted from my lips was so forceful and violent, it jerked my head backwards slamming it oh so hard into the headboard of the chair. OUCH!!!!!!!!! I then realized that I should completly masticate before I swallow. (masticate means chew.....pervs!) Oh well, I just hope I don't get hiccups everytime I get super excited....otherwise my wedding night might be a little wierd. Be that as it may, the back of my head was a little sore today. I'm just glad I didn't pass out and wake up to songbirds flying around my head. he he!
:END BLOG ENTRY :oops:
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| THE TRUTH HURTS |
| 07.08.04 (11:10 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104189.13[/b]
My friend Brandy gave me this most informative e-mail...I thought I'd pass it along.
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Wine her, dine her, call her, support her, hold her, surprise her, compliment her, smile at her, listen to her, laugh with her, cry with her, romance her, encourage her, believe in her, pray for her, cuddle with her, shop with her, give her jewelry, buy her flowers, hold her hand, write love letters to her, go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked, bring chicken wings, don't block the T.V...............and the one I'm adding, call him Captain!
THANKS BRANDY!
:END BLOG ENTRY :wink:
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| 3:16 A.M. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| 07.07.04 (11:32 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104188.13[/b]
I can never sleep well if I know I have to wake up early. Most of the time when I work it's in the wee hours of the morn. Notwithstanding, today, waking up @ 5 A.M. was no exception.
I finally drifted off to sleep about 1:20 A.M. after looking at the ceiling lost in the stream of consciouness that is my thought pattern at night. Suddenly I awoke to the phone ringing, LOUDLY, @ 3:16 A.M. Things are always loud when you wake up. I answered the phone with a HELLO, that was somewhat livid and most notably rude! The only reply I recieved was the screaming pounding disonence of a fax machine!
I slammed the phone back down on the receiver and fell asleep arguing with myself about wether or not I should disconnect the phone just in case the tactless, dot matrix, apperatice put me back on the repeat call list........It never called back.
While driving to work, I thought of an awesome idea. How fun would it be to program your fax machine with regular phone numbers from the phone book, late at night of course, and simply sit by the machine with a root beer and cheetos entertaining yourself by listening to all the groggy, swearing, colorful metaphores that would no doubt follow the annoying beeps.
"GOLD JERRY, IT'S GOLD"
Oh the joy of laughing yourself to the bathroom!
Just don't try it with me again, because it all seems so fishy!
:END BLOG ENTRY :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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| EXCUSE YOU !!!!!! |
| 07.06.04 (1:25 pm) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104187.15[/b]
I guess I like cranberry juice. I was at work only 2 hours before I realized I had slurpped down over a liter of the stuff....then I started on grape juice. I guess the next step is rehab.
All my little tibit observations of life mostly come from my experiences with the curious people I meet at my hotel. I bumped into a guest today, naturally on accident, and I said excuse me...the polite thing to do right? He then kept walking and muttered.."excuse you," back to me. I didn't know if this guy was sporting a rude comment or if that was the correct response to me begging for forgiveness. In all of my 29 years on Earth, I think I would have heard someone say "excuse you" back to me after I said excuse me. Well, irony can be so ironic, simply for the fact that this exact thing happened to me a couple of days ago. Well aside from me apperently having a contiuning battle with my depth perception, I bumped into a man who responded with the same exact statement. "EXCUSE YOU." --------Are they being rude, or is this the proper thing to say? What's next? If I start saying "Pardon me," will they start saying "Pardon you?"
:END BLOG ENTRY :?
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| URINE TEST |
| 07.02.04 (11:10 am) [edit] |
[b]CAPTAIN'S BLOG STARDATE: 104183.13[/b]
Well, well, well. I had to go into the old doctor's office for some boold tests. I'll be geeting a physical on the 7th so of course they need to drain me of my precious life fluid. I think physicals are important....not that I'm a fan of the saying, "turn your head and cough," it's just that I think everyone should get one at least once a year. So I headed on in, took a seat in the waiting room until my name was called. FINALLY, I went up to the nurse and was handed a flask.........for my urine sample. "Oh, no." I thought...I had just used the bathroom. She simply said, "do the best you can," in ear shot of about 20 gereatric patients no doubt thankful they have to pee every ten minutes. So, I ventured into the illustrious clinic MEN's room and tried to to the best I could. Funny thing is, there are instructions up on the wall of what to do when giving a urine sample. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are people that stupid. Then to make matters worse, some old man doesn't seem to get the hint that the door is locked and keeps trying to come into the bathroom. I didn't have to go in the first place and a case of stage fright on top of it all didn't help matters at all. PEOPLE, IF A PUBLIC RESTROOM IS LOCKED, THAT MEANS SOMEONE IS USING IT. It's the same thing on elevators...if you get into one and the button of your floor has already been pushed, all glowing like a Christmas tree, you don't need to press it again! IDIOTS! Ok, I'm done. HAPPY 4th!
:END BLOG ENTRY :x
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